Love In Multiple Episodes - Take 7

Seventh Sight..

December 7th - Do you ever wonder what kind of happiness are you after ? Sometimes you can feel the happiness is there, the other times it's not, just gone ~ In life, things do come and go.. Yeah, all I need to do is, catch the happiness as much as possible, with whole remaining breath left in me :)

I am actually, doubting.. if I can get happiness by my own hands, I am not sure if the happiness I am currently trying to hold, is the right thing or just shadow. But in the end, I will just try and find the unknown answer there ~

I am coming back from my hometown and feel totally refreshed, it's a good thing. But in the other hand, I feel sort of 'emptiness' for not able to see the Lime Guy on two weekends straight :( Is he doing well ? I wonder if he still wandered around like a lost child in the mall, without someone watching him with skip-a-beat heart ? ;p

In the period of time, when I was at my hometown, one of my school bestie got married. Congrats ! I am saying this in a bittersweet state, of course I am happy for her marriage.. but my dark side also whispers.. I am now losing another single friend :')

At that moment, I am pretty sure that I, soon.. will follow her step ^_^ maybe next year ? So I completely made up my mind that I should, get to know the Lime Guy I've been admiring for a while. Well, he's just perfect for me ! *in my opinion so far*

Last week, I didn't really remember but I think I did go for a walk at the shopping mall but didn't manage to see that Lime Guy. Or perhaps, since the day I left, our fate also has come to an end ? I hope not..

It was always around 7 to 8 o'clock ~ but today, I feel like going there earlier at 6 pm. Hmm.. It's just based on my instinct, and I am trying to not staying for too late :D Honestly, my reputation has been bad these days because I went back pretty late, so I am in the middle to fix it :3

I am coming with less expectation, since the time won't match, and I set a plan to root at the Starbucks and do some study there. In other words, I am not going to do 'hunting job' today. From my estimated time, I won't meet the Lime Guy at all, because I come before he comes and I will be busy doing something else when he's walking around the mall ~ There'll be no chance at all for us to meet, unless the Fate speaks..

When I reached here, I suddenly feel wanna go to the restroom *I wanna pee* :p buat going to the restrooms at Ground Floor is too mainstream ~ I dislike queue-ing for too long, so I just go straight to 1st Floor. And yeap, as expected, only few people in here :D

After done with the business, based on the plan, I should just go forward to the coffee shop, and there's escalator in front of me to take.. but I just want to take another escalator next to this one xD So I walk passing by it to approach another, and yes ~ here's where the interesting stuff gonna happen !

I should say, I haven't used my heart for quite a long time, so I guess it's already gone rusty lol ~ When I was watching drama and the girl could go crazily blank because she's seeing the man.. I thought that'll never happen in me. But, I was wrong..

I am walking peacefully, without any burden, unlike some previous weekends when I felt so anxious because I was carrying out a mission and I should do something to the Lime Guy. But today, I feel free of duty and it makes me relaxed a bit. However, I am still taking the questionnare with me, just in case.. this is D-day :)

Love may come into us in a shape we've never expected rite ~ They say expectation hurts, and good things come when we least expect it.. Ah ~ It may be right then.

This is surprising, when I just about to run into the Lime Guy again ! He's still meters away, but I already have him on my sight :O Ottoke ?! It's a one way and there's no other people than us, yes.. just the two of us will walk from opposite direction. OMG !! What kind of trial is this ?? I am not even ready, but I don't have choice either.

I've just done a quick scan over him from the meters away distance, I need to make sure if this Lime Guy is ready to be approached, I mean.. if he's wearing sporty stuffs all over his body so it would look completely natural to ask his help for filling the questions.

I admit that, I am too nervous to analyze and make a clear judgement right now. So in the end, when the Lime Guy is right in front of me.. I looked away. Yeah.. I feel like killing myself for being such a coward !! T_T

I can remember clearly, that I told myself.. if I ever saw him with his Nike bag and sport shoes, while I am holding on the questionnaire, I would talk to him no matter what ~ I swore ! And I did miss a chance before, and I believed I'll never repeat the same mistake twice.. because the regrets that come after, is too painful :( But, Oops ! I did it again ~.~"

That was a perfect timing, and I just missed it like that ~

Come to think of it, I think I can do better if I am alone, and I was.. I saw him wearing both stuffs, I knew that, but my mind said that he doesn't look like someone who's related to gym at the moment, my mind must have gone insane then, he looks completely a guy from the gym !! Yeah, my mind was a mess for the sudden heart attacking surprise *sigh*

I am in a huge dilemma, after the Lime Guy passed, I turned and take a look at his leaving back.. Perhaps, it's now or never ~ So I walk back following his steps, well.. he's quite fast so it's not just a small distance between us, and I saw him approaching the seater while taking out his phone, looks like he's making a phone call, mysterious.. as always.

If it happens based on the original plan, it would be this way. When we pass by each other, I look at him and think he looks like a member of the fitness centre, so I naturally approach him, without any suspicious intention because the pass by is a total coincidence. Then easily, the mission is a success ~

But.. reality speaks another way. I am trying to stick to the plan and I think approaching the Lime Guy while he's sitting is still not too late. Maybe it'll look like, after I saw him just now, then I feel that he may be a member of the fitness centre then I come to him. And also, it'll be better to do it while he's sitting than he's moving around with his fast steps xD

I am getting all my mind back and confidently walk toward the seater, which I think will not be crowded at this time, so it's easier for me, and less embarassing for sure. But.. but, I don't know why there are so many obstacles on my way.. the seater is full of people :O How do I suppose to approach a guy at a place like that, people will look and think I am a weird person, Noooooo ~

At the end, I turned to the exit and went to the terrace area. I don't even know why I am here, it was just a split second decision my brain made and the body followed. Now, it's getting worse, I am a two times coward :|

Okay, I made up my mind again, kicking out the embarassment and anything that say no for the mission, and I go back to the mall again. Yeah, the Lime Guy is still there. So, to make it more natural, I will take a 180 degree walk from where I am standing, it'll exactly feel like another coincidence for bumping into him again. So, I'll do it at that time. Yeay !

Ah ~ he's leaving now. T_T When I just left the terrace and walking faster to approach him, I now saw him heading to the terrace =..= Seriously, can you just kill me ?

I didn't give up, I quickly go to next exit to get to the terrace, but poorly.. there's a tenant setting up sitting area so I can't cross and I can't really see the Lime Guy from here too. Aish..

So I get in again and walking back to the exit that I just went through some seconds ago. But I can't see his traces anymore..

Hmm.. I am dying in regrets now. I just let such a great chance slides away, I always think too much, and now I got nothing. This is really really.. too hard for me ~ I am frustrated.

As for today, it went exactly as expected, no interaction or progress with the Lime Guy, get another things done and spending time at the Starbucks. Well, actually there's an extraordinary good looking barista here. I don't understand why, but this mall is somehow special.. I can't find any barista-s at this 'well born' level somewhere else. And I have my perfect crush in this mall too hehehe..

This young and good looking guy is totally an eye-candy, I don't think it's just me ~ I doubt if half of the customers aren't coming here to see him lol Well, we got to exchange eye contacts before and I feel like he has something on me *maybe I'm thinking too much again, forget it* But then, while I am doing the study, I saw him talking to a girl, they sit facing each other :O

At first, I thought he's interviewing, but more I see it.. he acts friendly, then he also raising up his phone while talking to her *getting jealous over nothing* and.. he's eating something, that's not available on the coffee shop, maybe she brought him ? I guess she must be his girlfriend then </3 You know, even though I see him just purely as an eye-candy, because to have so good looking boyfriend will be too much for me, I am going to stab every girls who're looking at him lol ~ But, don't you think it's also too much for me, to witness his lovey dovey relationship, when my mood is already gloomy enough for the failed mission :\ Why are you being like this to me ??

Finally, I can't stand it anymore.. I am about to leave but I decided to ask for a cup of water to calm down a bit, also an excuse to talk to the barista, and on top of that, so that I can see how that girl looks like *evil noona on-going*

I can remember previously that when I asked him for water, he was being friendly, also when last time he called out my name as if we know each other when giving my Green Tea Latte, but tonight.. It's all gone ~ maybe because his girl is here ? It's not fair, but what do I expect.. I am not going to date this guy anyway, easy.. When I am leaving, I barely take a glance at her o.O Hmm.. I can't be sure how she looks like, because of her thick make up, and she dyed her hair all blonde, long and a bit wavy (?) Ah.. I don't know, but since she came all dressed up like that, it's a bigger chance she's his girlfriend. So, this is his taste.. I see ~

Back to the main topic, all I need to do is keep being patience. Next time, I'll prepare for it :)

I do wish, at least.. let my crush this time, be mine.